Everything is going haywire and moving at 10 times the usual speed per minute. I’m tired majority of the time and can’t seem to just sit down and watch food network anymore. Life isn’t really what it used to be I guess that’s a good thing. I Miss Certain People. And almost even thing reminds me of him & us. I’ve been tied to my iPod & headphones lately I guess it helps me with it all. I’m trying to be independent despite the fact that I’m nervous as hell. Me and my mom are on the same page more times than not now and at this time that’s really important. We are already in November & I’m graduating in May sometime. I just paid for my cap and gown rental yesterday and did I mention I’m nervous. I barely see my girls anymore & I know it’s because we all are busy planning for college. But time doesn’t go back but at a times I really wish it did. And I’m really H^10 right now so now I’m really missing him and guys that I’m in no kind of way interested in like me but everything is there it’s just that he’s not cute and I don’t care what nobody says looks do mean something in a relationship it may not be the main thing but it is important and that adds even more of a miss and comparison to that guy. And I also realize that I haven’t worked on my dreams in a long time due to the semi organized chaos that may not make much sense at the moment & it’s more things to it then everything that’s on this post and it’s crazy because at times it can be just a tad much no matter how I’m a young woman, I can handle this & some I got it in the bag I claim to be. And I feel like some days my life is just crumbling by the second and then flying away like paper and that I’m just doing a whole bunch of nothing in my life and it’s hard to point out the Up’s sometimes. I will me having a baby brother soon and I’m now in yearbook committee and hopefully will be writing something in the school newspaper and I feel like that would be so cute due to the fact that I want to be a Author( part-time) when I grow up so I feel like my fans will be able to look back and be like ohh em geeee she was just like us. I’m working on a million and two things right now including myself. And I feel like another down side is I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE so where is the adventure heart racing gasping wishing could we do that again in there(my life) for me. I need to stop getting in my own way because I’m so use to the same old same old and that’s the same thing that I’m tired of. But then again I’m almost there and I Love how I’m just babbling but it’s been bottled up and spread between my poems, my twitter account and tumblr so at times I don’t really know what to do and to think about the fact that it only gets more complicated from here but I’m excitedly nervous in the rest of my life I just hope that we get to that point in every aspect that I’m at peace and I can finally sit down and watch food network( Barefoot Contessa, Giada at Home, Pioneer Woman & all the food gods & goddesses that are lucky to have a show on food network and that I just kind of want to steal their recipes) and Oprah(Super Soul Sunday and Lifeclass, she is really wonderful) and maybe even my new found favorite movies from my closet or that are on demand and maybe even tweet, tumblr, and cuddle with that great amazing invincible hoping he will appear everything I want in a nutshell and a good idea & aspect & the opposite of me in good ways full package guy for a minute I guess those are my unspoken and bottled up wants of my semi- but soon to be full life right know.
Thanks for listening mind and keyboard and maybe even laptop screen and now I’m out (I love the sound of my keyboard right now I feel like I’m typing something mad important I guess it’s just my feelings, this is how I’m going to sound when I type up my story now I’m going to be lazy and maybe actually stick to my unspoken & etc. wants for something and stand for and maybe even do something enjoyable in this life time if everything lets me).
Okayy now I’m really gone( but not literally)